Many parents reach for a slap or a spank when a child ignores a rule or melts down, assuming it will produce quicker obedience. Research from the international Parenting Across Cultures project, discussed by psychology professor Liane Peña Alampay of Ateneo de Manila University, challenges that assumption. The findings link more frequent physical punishment with greater anxiety and aggression in children over time.
What the research found
The Parenting Across Cultures project followed families in nine countries: China, Colombia, Italy, Jordan, Kenya, the Philippines, Sweden, Thailand and the United States. According to the project's official website, the wider programme spans about 15 years and involves roughly 4,500 families. Alampay, who leads the Philippine site, presented the results during an Ateneo Breakthroughs Lecture. Across the data, more frequent spanking was associated with higher levels of anxiety and aggression in children.
Cultural acceptance of physical punishment sometimes changed how strong those associations were, but it did not make the practice beneficial. An association, however, is not proof that spanking alone causes every emotional or behavioral problem. Researchers caution that many factors shape a child's development, so the results should be read as a challenge to the idea that hitting is harmless or necessary, rather than as a complete explanation of any individual child.
Strictness is not the same as discipline
Many parents equate discipline with strictness: immediate obedience, no questions and no discussion. Researchers distinguish authoritarian parenting, which emphasizes control and obedience, from authoritative parenting, which pairs clear rules with warmth, communication and attention to the child's point of view. Rules tell children what is expected, while a supportive relationship makes it easier for them to learn from mistakes and talk about their feelings.
The research also found that rejection, neglect and hostility were linked to later anxiety, depression and aggressive or antisocial behavior. Children who felt valued and accepted showed greater protection against some of these difficulties. Warm parenting does not mean permissiveness; it means correcting behavior while still treating the child with care and respect.
Why the emotional tone matters
The project also examined family obligation and respect for parents. In some cultures, children are expected to show strong respect and contribute to the household. When those expectations come with warmth and support, they were associated with positive outcomes. When they feel like a heavy burden, they were linked to greater anxiety and other difficulties, suggesting that the emotional climate of a family matters as much as the specific rules it sets.
Practical takeaways for households
- Set clear, consistent expectations and explain them in terms a child can understand.
- Correct mistakes without relying on pain or harsh treatment.
- Stay connected and accepting even while enforcing a boundary.
- Consider how family expectations feel to the child, not just what they require.
Alampay emphasized that discipline remains important. The evidence suggests it does not have to involve hitting to be effective.